Bratfest at Tiffany's

Its a new school year and the 8th grade. The boys from Briarwood have come over to OCD until their school is renovated. The PC has been away from each other during the summer so its the first day back. As they were dumped by the boys at the end of the year party Massie has decided that they are on a boy fast. No boys but BFF's first and always. She gives them charm bracelets from Tiffany's to let them know that they are the NPC and that is New Pretty Committee. Anyone breaking the boy fast is out of the NPC.

We are seeing results of the monster these girls have created in Massie. They are not allowed to like boys? If they do something that is human and normal for their age then they loose their friends?

The NPC walks into the cafeteria for their Welcome Back! assembly. They make a late entrance on purpose and go to the reserved table that Claire saved before school. As they thought they would be worshipped like last year they are shocked that people are staring at them and look annoyed. They sit down, start texting and do not understand why they are not ah-dored by their fans. Massie has decided it is the boys being there that has made them loose their thrones per say. She notices that her friends are noticing them and reigns them in and quickly reminding them that they are to go on this boyfast or loose their place in the NPC.

We are seeing what happens when a Queen gets dethroned. Listen, you are doing a girl so much more harm by building her up so much than you are abusing another one. As you see, she will eventually fall and because the boys are there that they are not on top. Massie is doing all she can to hold on to this status. Even if it means trying to stop being human. Its normal for girls this age to notice boys! If a girl has been going to school without boys then yes, them being there is a huge deal. Massie's control is evident here.

Alicia is doing announcements during lunch again and this time a boy named Josh comes into the booth with her. He was told by his friends to ignore The PC because they were spies and stalkers. He told them to get over it and nobody was the wiser or really cared. Alicia admitted that in her world it was not that easy. She would endure banishment and the wrath of Massie if she decided to like a boy.

Should these kids have to worry about being normal? The boys have a healthy attitude here. Sure, they decided they were not going to like The PC but they broke that promise and all is well with them. Why should girl world be so destructive? At this age, friends are a girls whole life. All this is doing is reinforcing that it is not okay to be human for Alicia. Her world will crash if she does.

The NPC goes down to the room that they earned from Skye last year. It is now a locker room for boys. Massie has the girls recite a pledge promising total devotion to the NPC and to ignore boys completely. Friends first and foremost.

Okay, at this age friends will sell their souls to stay part of the group. Having them pledge something such as this only makes them as insecure as they already are. All five are insecure and something like this adds to the problem. Please, talk to tweens about true friendship and that people needing space is normal.

The next day the school decides to divide students into two separate groups. One will take classes in the main building while the other group will go out to trailers. Alicia and Josh come up with a plan where they will be housed in the main building and away from The NPC. This way Alicia can like Josh and not fear losing her friends.

Should it even come to this? I think the writing is on the wall here.

The NPC (except Alicia) are housed in the trailers and are not happy. Massie uses this as a way to get back on top. The first day she notices all of the LBR's and forms names for them which gives the NPC more reason to be nasty.

Has anyone noticed that according to Massie everyone but The PC are LBR's. Me thinks she does this to maintain control over her friends. Yet these girls live in fear and will not come together and stand up to her!

The local news shows up the next day to do a story on the merging of the schools and that they are in two different sections of the school. However, the story gets lost in the translation and it comes across as important kids are in the main building while disabled kids are in trailers. Alicia is interviewed for the story and is wearing Josh's Yankees cap as she forgets to take it off. Later that evening the girls are at GLU Headquarters watching this segment. Massie is furious that Alicia was wearing Josh's cap and that she thought Alicia was trying to make them out to look like losers on camera. So, Alicia is forced to turn in her charm bracelet and is banned from the NPC. The bracelet is thrown in the fire place.

You know, Massie is asking a lot of her friends. She is demanding they always look good, they are not allowed to make mistakes and are not allowed to be human. What has happened to Alicia is devastating. Losing your friends at this age is like an adult losing a job, house and their family all at once. The stress is that intense. These girls are learning to fear being human and normal. Claire chews her fingernails to the quick. It is how she deals with these problems.

Massie decides to give the trailers a makeover and of course not consulting anyone as to what they think. On the inside she decorates it like the inside of a Tiffany's box and the outside is like the outside of a Tiffany's box. Also, Massie starts to develop a crush on a boy named Dempsey.

A-ha! Massie is being human also. What happened to pledging ones life to her and the PC? Oh wait, rules don't apply to Massie, I forgot. These trailers are a hit, even the teachers like them. So, this has put Massie back on top again. However, parents begin to complain because they do not fork out so much money to send their kids to school and they not get to be in the trailers also. Lawsuit threats start to fly and the school decides to have a contest to see who should be in the trailers or in the main building.

Alicia misses her friends. She wants back into the group as the NPC are ignoring her completely or calling her an LBR. Alicia will do anything to get back in. So, Massie says she can be in if Alicia will rig the contest. Massie wants to be with Dempsey and so when Alicia announces the winner at the friday night school party, she has the NPC in the main building and the "LBR's" in the trailers. Once again, Massie is every one's hero and Alicia is back in the NPC. The boy fast is now off.

You know what, it is interesting that since Massie started liking a boy the boyfast was over. These Queens never cease to amaze me. Its all about them and people follow them so blindly. As for Massie being wonderful again, the others think she did them a favor when the whole time it was all to benefit her. Alicia was risking everything to cater to Massie and what she wanted. She lied and manipulated and once again, these girls are learning to lie, cheat, steal and get rewarded. No wonder our society is in the dumper!

This book gives us an opening into how far a Queen Bee will go to remain Queen. Also, we are starting to see what happens when she falls off her throne. The next book should be a real eye opener.

Disclaimer: I do not own these books. They belong to Lisi Harrison and the folks over at Poppy Books.

The Pretty Committee Strikes Back

The students of OCD and Briarwood are going on an overnight field trip to Lake Placid. This is for educational purposes only. Kristen cannot afford to go so she sneaks up instead. A bit of come-uppance comes to the PC in this book.

Massie has decided to have an underground kissing clinic which she calls MUCK (Massie's Underground Clinic for Kissing). This is her way of being the center of attention since Nina has left Westchester and returned to Spain. In Massies eyes they are suppose to idolize her and not Nina. The Friday before they leave for their trip, everyone meets in the OCD Serenity Chapel. This includes The PC, Olivia Ryan (Alicia's friend), Layne Abeley (Claire's friend and the most likable character in this book) and some girls named Livvy, Carrie and Alexandra. These other girls outside of The PC, with the exception of Layne, are thrilled to be part of MUCK.

First off, why does Massie need to always be on top? Why does there even need to be a top? Once again, Massies narcissism is getting the best of her. The best friend anyone could have out of these girls is Layne Abeley. Shes smart, friendly, has a good social conscience, feels good about herself (unlike these other girls) and stands up to Massie. She is not a follower but her own person. If anyone is not an LBR its Layne. As for LBR, according to The PC this means loser beyond repair. We begin to learn of this term and what it means at this point. Girls, please find friends who are similar to Layne. Shes anything but an LBR. Parents, talk to your children about calling other kids losers. Its wrong and the loser behavior belongs to those who even use this terminology.

Massie is charging $20 for the MUCK session. She knows nothing about kissing boys and like most bullies is not only lying but cheating these other girls out of their money. After Massie passes around glossip girl lip gloss, she gives the bad tasting ones to the girls. Alexandra makes a comment about her lip gloss tasting like meat and the guys will want to kiss her after wearing it. Dylan has to make a comment about her being a stray dog.

Massie is learning here how to lie and steal to get what she wants. She has lied about kissing boys as she has no experience. Also, is taking money from these girls. Adult bullies are well versed in this behavior. To the world, this would be considered a scam. As for Dylan, she really needed to keep her mouth shut. These girls do not need to be horrible to one another. Its not cool nor should it be acceptable.

Massie organizes the whole trip for The PC. The girls follow her as usual and not use minds of their own. They are told what they can and cannot wear on their trip.

Once again, these girls will not think for themselves. I hear people complain about the mean girls in women. However, this behavior is acceptable?? Girls, make up your own minds about things and parents, teach them to think for themselves!

Claire's brother Todd has a toy dog named Aibo. He and his friend Tiny Nathan are playing outside with it and Bean, Massie's pug dog hear them in the yard. Massie sets Bean loose to go out in the yard and attack the toy. Claire urged Massie to go down and put a stop to Bean tearing up Todd's dog but Massie was enjoying watching the action in the yard. After the attack Massie calls Bean back inside and she comes bringing the tail of the dog.

Massie's lack of empathy and what we are seeing a lack of conscience is evident here. Why is she enjoying watching her dog tear up a toy that Todd loves? Sure, we can say oh its just a toy but I find this behavior disturbing. Parental intervention is highly needed here. Massie needs to be punished and told to buy Todd a new dog. Not to mention apologize. Claire does have a conscience and plus this was her brother. Yet Massie was not about to stop her fun.

At the campsite, Massie claims the biggest closet for herself. Nobody is arguing with her because they are all too busy catering to her and idolizing her. All except Layne who sees her for what she is. A mean girl and a bully!

Do I even need to say it? Another example of feeding a bully and creating a monster.

Alicia gets even with Claire for kissing Josh at the end of the last book. Claire is upset because Cam is not talking to her.

Again, I am not going to focus on the boy/girl dynamic in this blog. I understand Alicia's anger; its normal in these situations. A girl likes a boy and her friend kisses him. However, revenge is not the answer. Girls, take a few deep breaths and go to your friend and ask what happened. What you see is not always what you get. You do not need to threaten to beat her up or seek revenge. Parents, talk to your kids about talking problems out with each other so they do not go to this level. There is no communication here between anyone (boys included) and as a result, there are a group of miserable kids based on assumptions and not getting the whole story.

Dylan catches her mother kissing her teacher in the cabin. She runs off into the woods and the other four girls follow her. They wind up getting lost in the woods and return to camp 5 hours later. The PC are expelled after this stunt. It was against the rules to take off like they did and they broke a rule. The reactions? Alicia will blame the teachers for losing them and talks lawsuit. Dylan says she is traumatized because she saw her mother and teacher kissing each other. Kristen will sue the school for discrimination against the poor and had to sneak up there. If she had not been discriminated against in the first place, she would not have had to lie to her parents and go up there on her own. As for the other students? They are really upset that The PC is being expelled and plan to fight the school on this decision.

Finally! It is about time these girls are held accountable for their actions! The rules did state that they were not allowed to go into the woods and expulsion would be the result. They broke the rule and are not treated like the crown princesses they have always been treated like. Do you see the result? One threatens a lawsuit. Alicia would not win in a court of law because the rules were outlined. Our courts today are too caught up in trivia like this and real cases needing to be heard are backlogged. Dylan was not traumatized; she was upset and that I can understand. Nobody wants a parent with their teacher as its uncomfortable for them. But traumatized? Give me a break! As for Kristen, well, it was not discrimination as the school had to do what they had to do. Maybe they could have done something for scholarship students but it was not their decision to do this. Plus, this was not a mandatory trip. As for the students being upset, they should be glad they can finally breathe and go to school, be individuals and exist in a healthy environment for a change! All they are doing is creating bigger monsters in these girls. Stop feeding them! Please! Why do you think these girls are so mean to begin with? Its power and by getting upset because they were punished accordingly just gives more power to them to be mean and hurtful to others.

Thanks for reading and will be back next week with the next two installments.

Take Care,
Elizabeth

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am just using them for educational purposes only. They belong to Lisi Harrison and Poppy Books.

The Clique

This is the first book of The Clique series. Basically, this is about Claire who is new to Westchester. Her family arrives from Orlando, Florida to Westchester and we learn that Claire and Massie's fathers are old friends from college. Massie and her friends abuse Claire in this book and treat her horribly. We also learn that Massie is the Queen Bee of their school Octavian Country Day (OCD) where Claire is a new student. Massie and her friends, The Pretty Committee, do not make Claire feel welcome and do things such as get red paint on the back of her white pants and dump food on her. Plus, when Massie is not around they are nice to Claire but mean when Massie is around. Claire also behaves badly as she pretends to be Massie on IM and this leads to The PC getting mad at Massie. Here are examples in the book which are abusive. I am well aware that Massie and her friends are insecure. However, this is not the way to handle these problems. We are an insecure society so these girls being insecure is not uncommon. What people are not realizing is that it is behavior such as this that breeds insecurity in tween girls.

Once Claire arrives in Westchester, Massie lets her know that she needs to find her own friends and forget about knowing hers.

This right here is an introduction of Massie being a bully. She clearly lacks empathy for Claire and her situation being in a new place. Also, this is the first person Claire meets from Westchester. What a way to welcome someone!

On the way to school on the first day, Massie directs Claire to the back seat of the car while she and her friends sit up front. After picking up Dylan, Alicia and Kristen, we see Kristen ask who that is in the back and if they like her. Massie replies that they do not like her.

Okay, is it me or is Massie doing all of the thinking for this crew of girls? Why do they not like her? She does not dress like they do? Act as they do? They do not even know this girl yet have formed an opinion. Sure, we can say that is normal for tween girls. You know why it is so called normal? Because as a society we allow this behavior to continue! Adults, teach these kids to think for themselves and teach them to respect others! Talk to them about how in this nation we have the freedom of opinion. All they are doing is giving Massie power and that is power she does not need. This is the stuff that builds spoiled brats and monsters in people. Also, it is important to understand that people are different. Bullies want everyone to conform and be like them. Talk to your children about being themselves! They will be much happier if they do.

At school, the girls walk ahead of Claire and show contempt towards her. Claire tries to come up to them and walk with them but they are having none of this. Massie turns to Claire and asks her if she has invited her to a BBQ. Claire says no and Massie asks her why she is all up in her grill. This gives off a round of high fives and Claire says to Massie that she is acting like a bitch.

First off, Massie is acting like a bitch! Claire has done nothing to these girls except try and be nice. However, because Massie does not like her then they don't like her so they have to let Massie think for them. I do not think the word bitch is apropos but at least she stood up to her. Claire should have gotten away from these girls from the minute she met them. Also, at this point, before things escalate, an adult should start to intervene. Bullied kids are terrified of adults or anyone finding out what is going on. At the same time, this is not stuff that kids need to be handling on their own. It leads to much bigger problems down the line. Please, talk to your children about reporting this behavior. Its abusive and wrong and in the end, you are doing both the kids and adults a favor.

As Claire called her a bitch, she is now in trouble with Massie and The PC. So, Massie texts and gets Alicia and Kristen to do her dirty work for her since Queen Bees never get their own hands dirty. When Claire goes to her first class which is an art class, she is found to be sitting beside Alicia. Alicia tries to be nice which Claire, in a vulnerable position being new takes as friendship. However, Alicia sets up red paint where it spills on the back of Claire's new white pants. If that is not bad enough, they get Claire lost on purpose to the nurses office.

First off, Claire has no idea what is going on. Why can't Massie handle her own problems instead of dragging her friends into them and do her dirty work? This is how Queen Bees operate! They get their little workers to do everything for them.

Massie's mother insists that she invite Claire to the weekly Friday sleepover that The PC has. At the sleepover, the girls set up sleeping bags leaving Claire out on purpose. They insult her on purpose and ask her if she would rather be a friendless loser or a loser who has friends that secretly hate her. Claire chooses the former and the girls say she has her wish. It gets to be too much for Claire and she just leaves.

This behavior is starting to get to Claire and it shows. Massies mother needs to get more involved with her daughter and get her in therapy. Yes, I am serious. Anyone who has this sort of power and uses it to abuse others is in need of some psychological help. She is 12-years-old so there is still time to get hold of these problems so they do not develop into personality disorders by adulthood. Also, Claire needs to be alerting her mother to this. Parents, if your child is behaving like this then punish them and make it stick. These girls should have been sent home and not allowed to continue with their sleepover.

Massie has a crush on Chris Abeley who is the brother of Layne Abeley. Layne is the first friend Claire has made. Massie uses Layne to get close to Chris.

I am glad Claire has found a friend. However, Massie has to come between that and use Layne to get to Chris. Like a typical bully she is using others to get what she wants.

Massie's friends are at the pool at the Block estate waiting for Massie to come home so they can work on the Glamazon project for Kristen's class. As the three girls and Claire are there, they all start listening to music and playing in the water. They are actually having a great time together. Then Massie shows up and criticizes the music, reminds them they hate Claire and the girls go back to being nasty to her. Then they take food that has been set out and dump it on Claire.

Again, Massie is in full control and the girls are giving it to her. These girls are learning to feed monsters and as adults, will probably start their own reality show called The Housewives of Westchester. Instead of feeding Massie, they need to tell her what they really think. Parents, talk to you children about the dangers in feeding these Queen Bees. Please be aware of your children and who their friends are. If your child is a Queen Bee, please get her in therapy. Yes, Massie is insecure but this is not the way to handle insecurities. It is important to teach children to work out their own problems. However, this is something that needs adult intervention. Listen, Queen Bees eventually fall. They loose their power in new places all the time. This can be detrimental to a Queen and she is not learning the reality of life. She is destructive and destroys those around her. Claire does not deserve any of this.

Claire has had enough. Massie takes her dog for walks each night at a specific time. Claire learns this and starts sneaking into Massie's room at that time each night and talks to her three friends on IM using Massie's moniker. Pretending to be Massie she tells them offensive things and this winds up getting these friends angry with Massie. One thing she learned is that Kristen is not really rich but is at the school on scholarship. Bullies are horrible to their friends but even they know how far they can manipulate and go with them. So Claire is now in and Massie is out. Eventually, they learn that Claire was on the IM instead of Massie and The PC once again turns on Claire.

This is classic in those who are being abused by their peers. They try and find a way to make it stop so they take action. What Claire did was just as bad and she should have been punished. Do you see how far this problem has gone? Now there are five girls who have been hurt. They are not learning to trust one another but to secretly harbor some resentment towards one another. The words are out there. They cannot be taken back. Yes, Claire finally told her mother what was going on but begged her not to tell any other parents. Again, bad move. Plus, this is adding more reasons to be insecure.

The school is on a field trip and The PC, who hurdle insults at everyone else and bask in being "adored" decides to use this opportunity to sell Kristen's lip gloss for the Glamazon Project. When everyone purchases the gloss, their lips swell. Claire's friend Layne has a thermos of oatmeal and it is used on every ones lips. They save the day and The PC look like idiots and this angers them. Kristen thanked Claire for keeping her secret about being a scholarship student and was glad it was not Massie that she told after all.

Finally, we learn that Kristen does have an opinion about something! By telling Claire that, we sense that she was terrified of Massie knowing her secret. Parents, this is what you need to be telling your children to do. Talk to them about the danger of giving a bully power and how together, they can break the bully. Kristen of course could not tell Claire this in front of Massie but at least she learned Claire could be trusted.

A charity party for scholarship students is being held at Massie's home. At the party, she and Claire wind up talking and being civil to one another.

At least they have buried the hatchett for now.

After all of this, Claire still wants to be friends with these girls.

Folks, these girls are not special so stop behaving as if they are! Parents, talk to your kids about not giving a bully power. Please, talk to them about how Queen Bees can eventually fall and that by catering to them, they are only creating a monster. Parental involvement was desperately needed here. Also, if your child is a leader like Massie is, please talk to them about being a good leader and using this to do good and not misuse any power people are giving them. As for giving anyone power, stop doing it. Our society has a serious mental health problem here and instead of burying our heads in the sand, we need to step up. Bullies do not outgrow this and this is why we have prisons that are overflowing and added stress from work and other places.

Disclaimer: I do not own these books or any rights to them. They belong to Lisi Harrison and the people at Poppy Books. I am just using this as an educational tool on Peer Abuse. Thank you!

Time to meet the Pretty Committee!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with The Clique series. This belongs to Lisi Harrison and her peeps over at The Clique . Also, these books and movie are a part of the Poppy Series books. I am just using this information as an educational tool only.

Yes, its time to meet The Clique girls who have also deemed themselves "The Pretty Committee." These are five of the best and brightest at Octavian Day Country School and they know it.

Massie Block: She is without a doubt the ruler of The Clique and pretty much the rest of the social scene at OCD. With her brown bob and perfect white teeth she commands respect and an audience and sadly, she gets it from her peers. She is aware of all of this and knows everyone else would give their eye teeth to be her. Also, a self obsessed, spoiled girl who does not have low self esteem (IMO) but very much loves herself as everyone loves her.

Alicia Rivera: A beautiful yet sneaky child. Adults ah-dore her and usually flies under the radar when it comes to any problems because she knows how to charm any adult. She is an only child of a former Spanish model and father out of Brooklyn (or according to her Barcelona). She is proud of her Spanish heritage. She cannot stand to be called "Fannish" which is fake Spanish.

Dylan Marvill: Child of Marilee Marvill who hosts a national talk show straight out of New York City. She is a child that needs to watch her weight and diets regularly. Or, as the book says she spends her time sucking up to Massie and sucking down diet shakes.

Kristen Gregory: A smart, athletic and hardworking girl who can insult someone and quickly. She pretends to live at an exclusive apartment building in Westchester but actually lives in another building as her parents are poor. Her father was once a wealthy artist and lost all of his money. Kristen is also a scholarship student but nobody except her friends know that.

Claire Lyons: She just moved to Westchester from Orlando, Florida. Her father and Massies are old college friends. She, her little brother Todd and parents live in the guesthouse on the Block grounds until finding their own home. She arrives in Keds shoes and Gap overalls which are not "clique material." At first the group abuses her but she eventually gets accepted by the group.

The Clique....the only thing harder than getting in is staying in.

The Clique

Hi, I am Elizabeth Bennett, an expert in the field of Bullying. However, I tend to use the term Peer Abuse because I want to keep it real. Bullying is a form of abuse IMO and I wish people would start seeing it that way. So, as I have introduced myself, I want to move forward here....the reason for being here and starting this blog.

I am sure by now everyone has heard of The Clique. This is a series of books written by Lisi Harrison. These books are hot right now amongst the tween and teen girls in America today. A movie has also been made based upon these books. The series revolves around five wealthy 12-year-old girls in Westchester, New York. They are pretty, socially sophisticated and obsessed with clothes, weight, technology and are the mean girls of their school Octavian Country Day. We will meet (or in some cases get reacquainted) with these young ladies soon. For now, I want to explain the reason for this blog and why I am doing it.

First off, this is no slam on Lisi Harrison. Lets get that established immediately. I do not know this woman, have never met her but only seen photos of her with her books. If I do not know someone then I have no reason to form an opinion of them. I do know Lisi is a good writer and has managed to reach a lot of young girls with her books. She uses a lot of quirky language and I sense she has a sarcastic side. She has stated that she uses these books to show others how ridiculous this behavior in girls is. Maybe read and allow the reader to fantasize about having the "whole package" and an ah-mazing life. There is nothing wrong with fantasy, we all have done it in our lives. Her reasons behind the series are innocent enough and her intentions I believe are good. I do not think she is trying to turn Americas tween girls into groups trying to go for world domination in their own friendships. I believe she is trying to get the reader to see at the end of the day how these things are not important and to help the reader move away from this behavior if they deal with it in their own lives. So Lisi, do know that this blog is in no way to trash you or your work. I am always glad people are out there trying to reach others in one way or another. So, with that, I want to explain the reason for this blog.

As an expert in the field of Bullying, I travel across America to speak to kids about this and the dangers of it. I get emails from parents that their teen girl is suffering from being abused by her friends or being excluded from a group of girls. On Twitter and Facebook, I talk to folks daily. Technorati and Blogger News are a couple of my stomping grounds online along with my blog on this site. This problem is a huge one in our society and one that needs addressing more than it is. After the death of Phoebe Prince back in January, I thought long and hard about finding a way to reach girls online and point out examples of what Bullying is. As I have read some of these books, I have found the problem of Relational Aggression amongst this group of young characters. Phoebe experienced a great deal of this at her school and it led her to take her own life through bullycide. The characters in the book do not go this far, however, they experience a lot of humiliation and torment just as Phoebe did. Again, I know Lisi's intention in writing these books is not to add to the bullying problem we have. I think she is trying to show the reader that because this behavior is ridiculous then its not cool or acceptable. I agree; this behavior is not cool and should never be acceptable. Yet, we continue to enable it in our culture. So, this summer, I have decided to read all of the books in The Clique series and blog about the parts of the book where Relational Aggression occurs. Maybe I can help the reader see where these behaviors occur in the book so the next time they read them, they will understand that this "mean girls" stuff is full on abuse and not a way to be rewarded. Many times girls will try to be accepted by these mean girls and without trying to, they give them a lot of useless power. Its based on fear more than anything. However, they do not need to be afraid. Being accepted by mean girls makes these problems worse and not better. Its important to understand that.

Again, its nice to meet you. I hope you will join me in this journey and most importantly I hope you as the reader will gain some knowledge on this serious issue. Thank you for reading.....